Damn, those tourists

As I mentioned in last week's blog, I'll be explaining the creation of my satire series about four super-powered annoying tourists who spend their days traveling to different states and countries, all while never realizing how repulsed residents and other visitors are by their behavior. That series, of course, is called: "Damn Tourists!"

Well, the way this series got started is one of those times where an idea just pops into your head instantly. Coming home from college on the bus one day back in Hawaii, a rental car cuts us off (no resident drives a bright yellow convertible in the islands), and the first thing I'm thinking is "these tourists just don't know how to drive."  BINGO! From there, I quickly wrote down a quick summary and some character names on some notebook paper while still on the bus. When I got home, I typed up a proper treatment on a laptop, but it took several years until I had a proper story in order to kick off the series. When those several years were up, here's what I came up with:

Four clueless travelers, with the names "Mr. Invincible," "Ms. Informed," "Mr. Postcard," and "Mr. Aloha," each possess an obnoxious behavior on vacation that is so obnoxious, it's super-human. Simply put, these are annoying tourists taken to the extreme.

- Mr Invincible is an inattentive traveler, who will bump into/run over anyone or anything, because he is too wrapped up in sightseeing. Fortunately for him, none of these collisions do him any harm due to his "tunnel-vision." Unfortunately for everyone else, they must steer clear of his "inattentive wrath."

-Ms. Informed is the type of traveler who believes she knows it all, when in reality she knows nothing. About what you ask? The history of wherever she is, mispronouncing even the simplest of foreign terms, etc. When traveling to France, she'd expect everyone to be wearing berets and carrying french bread with them. This behavior is so bad, that she gives others around her severe migranes due to her "facts."

-Mr. Postcard is the resident photographer of the group, and his annoying ability hits you twice. He's not just a bad photographer, always taking photos with his thumb on the lens or missing the subject he's photographing entirely, but the camera flash he uses is the brightest ever manufactured.

-Mr. Aloha is above all, the trademark goofy tourist of this group (and in this group, that's really saying something). He never goes anywhere without the largest collection of tacky, bright, loud floral wear. So loud, in fact, that the shirt actually fires a sonic blast at all times.

Despite their "vacation abilities," these tourists are welcomed (at least initially) to each destination they travel to with open arms. Why? They have a limitless disposable income, picking up bucketloads of tacky souvenirs, the most expensive rental cars and hotels, and so forth. In return for their spending frenzy, these travel destinations treat them like royalty, giving them free admission to all visitor attractions, free extended hotel says, and even highways made especially for them. As mentioned earlier, this excuses their behavior to a point, but this clueless foursome always finds away to unknowingly take things one step too far. As a result, each travel adventure always ends with them being chased out of their destinations. As the series continues, you will see other visitors and especially residents try to figure out where these "Damn Tourists" are originally from, a mystery that will not be easy to solve, as no city, state, or country would ever want to take responsibility for housing them.

So, think of "Damn Tourists" as a "how-not-to" guide when it comes to behaving on vacation, as well as poking fun at some states and cities over-reliance on income from visitors. So whenever you decide to use that vacation time you have saved up from work, just think of these four, and do the complete opposite of what they do.

Just a reminder that this weekend will be my first convention appearance of 2015: The Tulare Sci-Fi Con this saturday and sunday, so naturally my next blog will cover my experience, customer interaction, and sales from that show. Until then!